Things I’m Learning About Being In A Relationship For The First Time

If you’re looking for evidence of miracles on Earth, look no further, for the fact that I am even able to write an article with this title should suffice. Though I’m still not quite sure how, the guy who once drunkenly registered the username MuffinMan219 on OkCupid has successfully managed to trick a real live human being into being his boyfriend. (Mwhahaha, the poor bastard!)

I won’t lie; it’s a bit strange being part of a pair now, having been uninterruptedly single for the last 24 years. I had Single down to a science — everything from memorizing the cook time of 12 different kinds of Lean Cuisine, to surviving dreaded ‘Third Wheel Scenarios’ by being the Perpetually-Drunk Fun Friend that couples enjoy having around for laughs. But now here I am, trying out the couple thing, which I can only compare to learning a foreign language as an adult: when you’re young, the knowledge seems to seep in by osmosis, but it becomes a conscious learning effort once you’re older and set in your ways. A few months in, here are a few things I’ve learned so far, new on Thought Catalog.