Please Follow These Instructions For My Funeral

Not too long ago, I attended the funeral of a distant family member, a great-aunt I don’t think I’d ever met, and it was the most excruciating ceremony I’ve ever attended. The priest got her name wrong and talked at length about her 3 cats instead of anything important, it was awful. Anyway, I walked out of that church vowing that my own funeral would not go down like that. This post was originally featured on Thought Catalog, but to increase the likelihood my instructions are followed, here they are again, on Medium.