Santa Claus Gave Me The Sex Talk


Wrote this article about the time I learned the truth about sex AND Santa in the same night back in 2011 (how time flies!) and had it touched up & republished on Huffington Post today… just in time for the holidays! (*Events contained within are all true and unembellished. Sadly for me.)

“I Swear I’ll Be Good At It!” (Audiobook Edition) Is Out Today!

audibleinstaAudible bought the rights to my first e-book & I’m very excited to share that the audiobook edition of “I Swear I’ll Be Good At It!” is out today! So, if you ever wanted to hear *someone else* tell you funny stories about my formerly non-existent sex life, NOW YOU CAN! (Blood relatives & current boyfriend, please disregard this post, there’s nothing you need to listen to here.)

Huge thanks to my narrator Jed Drummond and the entire Audible team! You’re all incredible!

Confessions Of An Old Virgin

Once upon a time, I was a 23-year-old virgin. Now, I know that’s not insanely old, I don’t have anything on that 40-year-old virgin they made the movie about, but it *is* older than most people. According to a sex survey conducted by ABC, only 3% of Americans over the age of 22 are still chaste, and everyone knows that when you’re suffering through extra years of virginity you multiply those years by seven (as in dog-years), so actually I was, like, a 52-year-old virgin, so that movie should have really been made about me.

I shed some light and make some confessions about what life was like as an ‘Old Virgin’ in my newest post for Thought Catalog. And of course you can check out more confessions from me in my new Thought Catalog book, here.

old virgin

“I Swear I’ll Be Good At It!” is for sale now!


You know how when really embarrassing things happen, people have been known to shrug and sigh, “Oh well, another story for my memoir.” I used to say that a lot, and today I’m very excited to announce the publication of my e-book, “I SWEAR I’LL BE GOOD AT IT!” It’s available for download now on Amazon, you can read it on your Kindle, or using the Kindle App for Mac, PC, iPhone & iPad: